Thursday, July 31, 2014

I have a blister between my toes right now. It is really sore and has rendered me useless...really...useless...I feel like whining. My feet hurt in every position, including resting in my sheepskin slippers. It occurs to me how such a small thing can affect much. A small irritation becomes the focus of my moments in an otherwise idyllic day....which of course made it the opposite of idyllic. I sit here watching others splash and my feet are burning hot.... I wonder how much I miss by focussing on the pain...

Sunday, July 13, 2014

It's hard to describe what you miss about someone's presence. The little interactions..the brush of your foot down a calf or the intertwining of legs in bed. Is it the share of the physical load - getting up for the dogs or the phone?
Some days are hard. The days where being a parent should not take priority... I completely love being a mom. love my kids, love everything about family...but when you arrive home dog-tired and find your house is party-central to a group of twenty-somethings...that is hard for me...especially because we have just ridden from Harrison Lake - after kayaking and biking in the OVEN.... Will I look lame if I just want to watch a show on the sunniest of evenings with the most amazing red sky sunset....grrrrr...caught...and yet...this...and these times are when I want to cocoon. I was able to Skype with Melbourne baby....yep...that's her handle right now...because in my mind they won't be adults until they have a child for themselves... It was nice to chat and feel a part of her life...and her plans..She is here in November and wants time alone...What momma bear on earth would not think that was the greatest thing??? But given that I was exhausted...who knows if I conveyed that?? And that's another thing...I love my kids more than anything on earth...my man too...they are all unique...and more than amazing...yet...do I convey that?? Does Kimee know that 2:53 never escapes me...the day I became a mommma??? Does Jared know he makes me smile just to think of him? Does Samee have embedded that she is wonderful beyond words to me? And Mikee....I hesitate when I think of what we have been through...does she realize she is the laughter of pain? I am sure they get this...but ...if i were to pass today...this would be what I would leave them with... They are all amazing...unique....fantastic...did I say amazing yet?? people that I am so very, very proud to have issued (such an archaic saying)...to the world...and the world is better for each of you... Thank you!!