Sunday, May 5, 2013
It has been one of those idyllic days. Warm, cloudless and sunny...and yet this is when I notice things. The windows and skylights are in need of cleaning. The pool is full of leaves and the garden needs tending. The skylights bother me most as I cannot do anything to change them. They are at that annoying angle - too high for a ladder and not enough for a hose to reach. They don't annoy me in winter. The sun is less intense and less hours in a day. It is the way it is I suppose. The light exposing things.
Saturday, May 4, 2013
...I sometimes think I am...or at least feel that way. I begin to weed the front yard and within a few hours I have things plotting. (excuse the pun)... A weed here, planting there and a wave of exhaustion hits. I know I have gone too far. My muscles ache, my eyes are itchy. Will I ever learn my limits? Will I ever pace myself so that I am not pushed to that brink? As the warmth of the sun ebbs and I sit to write I feel my inner self chastising actions. Dirty fingernails remind me of my enthusiasm to get in there without gloves. The pricks and pokes remind me of my foolishness. And although the tiredness cloaks me, I am sitting next to impatiens that will greet me on every arrival. Limits? Sometimes it is okay to break them...
...you know who I mean...Those that espouse their virtue, wares or lifestyle whilst stepping on others to elevate themselves. Those that can say all the right things, even at the perfect moment... They help you see the light, buy the bauble, become a vegan or throw aside encumbrances. We sometimes idolize them...emulate, copy or try to live in their shadow until the sunlight changes and either truth is revealed, or we follow a new path. I have learned that anyone can talk the talk. Many fools can lead people astray, take their money, their dignity, their self-worth. It is not the talkers I wish to follow now. I seek out the quiet livers of life. The ones that are doing things with no thought to converting others. Their mission is not selfish nor selfless. They are making their way in the world being. They are who I want to be when I grow up.