Friday, June 25, 2010
I get fixated. I can check my email ten or twenty times in a hour...waiting...hoping for a response. For a few days I have been doing this. Checking sometimes frantically, other times distracted and able to hold off for an hour or two. I am fixated because I want resolution. I am fixated because I am so confused about how we have arrived at this place. It is difficult to know someone is wishing your demise. My own wisdom would tell others "don't let negative thoughts rent space in your head" - while my heart beats faster with anxiety and anticipation. If I could change this about myself I would. I am stuck. Stuck and fixated. Stuck and anxious. Stuck and sad that discord has threatened my peace.