Monday, March 15, 2010

Gardening and Parenthood

I am just a beginning gardener. I understand enough to plant a few pansies and petunias and usually remember they need water and weeding periodically. From time to time I admire the beauty my efforts and the universe have nurtured. After an interesting night involving teenagers and late night drives I was working with the dirt and weeds. My thought life rarely misses an opportunity to process events – especially tragic or dramatic ones that cannot be forgotten. The weeds were responding to pulling and it began to look cared for again. Being a parent is like tending a garden. You help your children grow, feed them, try to help get over the hard stuff, move the rocks that impede growth. Sometimes you fertilize, or even transplant to a more suitable area in the garden. My heart was responding to my thoughts when I saw one of my pansy plants – absolutely beautifully in bloom, and yet it had already been pulled out from the roots. It was dying but there was no evidence yet. It looked amazing from the outside, but it had no roots whatsoever. It was no longer part of the garden but sitting on the garden. And clearly I realized I don’t want my kids to look great on the outside and be dying inside. I don’t want them to pretend to be part of the garden when they are not. I want them to be rooted, growing still – even if there are weeds and rocks around them.

You could take this further and become a more proactive gardener – never allowing a weed to tarry in the soil. A gardening goddess….but you can never make them grow more. That is part of who they are….and who they are meant to be. Some plants have a longer life, some bloom when they are young, some bloom when they are older. Some things in the garden will be there providing shelter and nourishment, some will sap the others strength and either take over or be culled. Some plants or trees like my cherry tree are both an astounding blessing and hard to deal with. In July the cherries litter my lawn. The fruit is great but you have to put a lot of effort into getting the fruit picked and keeping it out of the blades of the lawnmower. Some plants take little effort and they reproduce and bloom. An orchid could never grow in my garden because biologically it would not be able to stand it. I think that about children too. Some children could respond to my weeding and water….some would be smothered…others would need more heat. Hats off – maybe on is best – to all fellow gardeners and parents. Our garden has many similarities and many differences. Some of us have more time in the garden, some more desire, and still some love the gardens that spring up naturally – with no care and inherent to the locale. They all have beauty and wisdom to behold.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

anything motorcycho

If I ever want to buy anything related to a motorcycle….or even hint of anything about a motorcycle, my husband is all over it. He has Craiglist and eBay scanned and can source boots, helmets or a 1969 Panhead quicker than I get the request off my tongue.

He is amazing that way. I just hinted that my current Yamaha 400 Special is just a tad big for me and he was in research bliss. He has shown me hundreds of pictures of bikes…..he has told me of hundreds of bikes that he likes. It is his delight to see what is out there to be “adopted”. And yes – I say adopted, because it is a lifelong commitment when you adopt a bike. I am convinced he thinks they have feelings as to part with one seems unfair to him. This is also why our extra large two car garage is jam-packed with bikes….and that is not all. Our shop that is for a business now displays a few trials bikes, mini bikes, a moped and I am pretty sure there is a flatracker and who knows what else.

It is his passion. I like that about him too. Passionate people aren’t boring. They are obsessive and probably know too much about some things….but they are anything but boring. They attract all kinds of people….wannabes, like-minded, and sometimes people who just admire their zeal. It isn’t their knowledge people want; it is their passion that inspires others.

And so, though I will never park a car in the garage…..and one day he may convince me that a bike would look great inside...I will continue to admire someone that can maintain such enthusiasm every day. Maybe I am a wannabe after all.


If you ever hear a huge sigh followed by a repressed scream it is probably me. To any of you that have 3 daughters and one good set of tweezers you will understand. Especially you will identify with how important it is when you find these tools missing at 6:30 am, as they are all tucked in and you have a board meeting in less than an hour and have spotted a hair right in the middle of your chin that seems to appear like a beard.

You can ask them to put them away all you want. You can threaten, you can lock your drawer…or in my case I once hid them only to not remember where they were and then, had to wait until they weredesperate to sleuth them out so I could use them too.

When did an $8 pair of tweezers hold such value? Probably around the time I started to notice errant hairs growing….and that correlated with the time my girls were interested in tweezing their eyebrows. It’s like that sometimes, isn’t it? You both are vying for the same thing for a different reason….a toy- because it is fun, or because you want what the other one has….a boy – because he is kind to you – or to elevate your status amongst your peers. Life is like that.

Tools we had no idea suddenly become important. I remember being newly married and suddenly interested in Teflon. A few years later it was car seats and strollers. Now it is tweezers…

One minor solution to the problem came one day after many accusations and the eventual finding of the aforementioned implements wedged between makeup in my drawer. The anger dissipated and I was struck with brilliance as I sourced a small piece of magnet and glued it to the side of the drawer. Voila…..henceforth from this day forward the tweezers would be drawn to the side of the drawer….well at least usually….unless they were taken to the bowels of the house to be lost amongst the laundry and blow dryer that has been missing in the pile of clothes. So, for any of you that can relate to the ever changing importance a tool can have in your home…..get a piece of magnet…a lock….or think it through and buy everyone a pair and you won’t need to repress screams at 6:30 am.